常用英语口语900句说批评的利与弊

常用英语口语句说批评的利与弊900TextA YoangWoman WhoFears ComplimentsMarya,a brilliantgraduate studentin herearly twentieswho cameforconsultation,insisted that she couldimprove onlywith criticism.Her reasoningwas thatshe knewthe goodqualities butthatshe did notknowthe badones.To havemore knowledgeof hernegative qualities,shebelieved,would addto herself-understanding andthus enableher toseeherself morecompletely.Marya,in effect,refused toacknowledge andtounderstand herstrengths.She hadassembled detailedlists ofher negativequalitieswhich sheused dailyto supportan extremelynegative viewofherself.But theywere eitherexaggerated orunreal.Despite herattractivenessto others,she convincedherself thatshe wasugly.Whenher familybought hernew andwell-designed articlesof clothingsheseldom,bought anyherself,she leftthem hangingin thecloset forweeksbefore wearingthem once.When someonecomplimented heron whatshewore andasked whetherit wasnew,she couldhonestly answerno.She didnot“deserve”to wearnew clothes.She could not bearthe painof hearingcompliments,of seeingherself asintelligent,pretty,or worthwhile.As achild,Marya hadreceived littleor nocriticism fromher parents.She wasprized bythem.Their majordisappointment inher apparentlywasthat sheoften rejectedtheir overturesof kindnessand appreciation,notin angerbut inembarrassment,as thoughshe wereundeserving.Thisseemingly mild-mannered youngwoman,exceptionally courteousandconsiderate toothers,held ontoher ownnegative selfjudgmentwithtenacity.Finally,friends andinterested facultymembers quitaccedingto herpersuasive requestsfor criticismthat they could nothonestly give.Instead,they gentlybut firmlyconfronted herwith herown blindnesstowhat shetruly waslike.II.ReadRead thefollowing passages.Underline theimportant viewpointswhilereading.

1.Unfair CriticismStuart isa typicalsixteen-year-old boywhoexperienced andsuffered fromthe criticismof analcoholic parent.Itseemed to5tuart theonly thinghis fatherever hadto sayto himwas,“You haven“t gota brainin yourhead.Stuart was a sophomorein highschool.It wastrue he wasapoor student,or whathis deancalled an”underachieverEven thoughStuart knewhe wasan underachiever,he wouldhave likedtohear his father say,just once,something elsewhen hebrought homehisreport cardother thanhis usual,“You haven”t gota brainin yourhead.Stuart wasdetermined toprove tohis fatherhedidhave abrainin hishead.Stuart studiedvery hard.Some nightsit wasdifficult forhimto concentrateon hishomework becausehe couldhear hisparentsbickering in the nextroom.“You forgotto paythe mortgageagain.The bankis fedup.”“How manytimescan aperson smashup acar I,m sucprisedthey haven“t takenyourlicense away!”“If youwouldn“t drinkso much...“Stuart didn“tlike the bickering,and wonderedif hisparents mightseparate.He wondered,too,because his father wasso forgetfulabout payingthe bills,if theymightlose theirhome.He kepttelling himselfthat ifhe studiedhard,maybe,by somemiracle,things wouldget betterat home.Stuart“s determinationto concentrateon hisschool work,in spiteof thebickeringand worriesat home,paid off.His nextreport cardshoweda markedimprovement.There waseven apersonal noteofpraise fromhis deanwritten onthe reportcard.Proudly Stuartput thereportcard onhis father”s desk.Stuart felthappier thanhe hadfelt inalong time.He knewthat his father couldonly bepleased withsuch areport,but moreimportant,maybe nowhis fatherwould realizethat hewasintelligent andwould startpaying someattention tohim.Stuart couldremember whenhis fatherused togo toballgames andmovieswith him.Who knewMaybe thingswould goback tothe waythey usedto be.Stuart wouldoffer toget apart-time jobto helppay offsome ofthe bills.He thoughtthat mightlessen some ofthearguing athome andkeep thefamilyfrom breakingup.He wouldlat hisfather knowthat hewas oldenough tovunderstandthings werent alwayseasy atthe office.When Stuart”sfathercame homeand sawthe report,he saidwithoutany hesitation,“Well,well,who didthe work for youI knowyou don“thave thebrains todo it!”Stuart wasstunned.All thatworkfornothing!He wouldn“t besurprised ifhisfathernot onlythoughthewasstupid buthated him,too.Stuart wou1dnothave beenashurt ifhe hadonly knownhisfatherwas tiedup in his ownmiserable feelings.This kepthim fromrecognizing whatStuarthad accomplishedin school.

2.Uses ofCriticism Whilesomeofus havea tendency to disbelieveorto minimizethe goodthings peoplesay aboutus,others amongus haveatendencytohold aprotective webaround ourselvesin defenseagainstcriticism.One workshopparticipant said,“I confusethe issueby gettinglogicalin theface ofthreatening reactions.Sometimes Iact helplesssoothers willstop thecriticism.Early inthe workshopexperience hehadreceived morenegative thanpositive reactions.While hewas fearfulofcriticism,he foundthat hehad courtedit,hoping thathe couldlearnhow tohandle itand overcomehis fear.We maycourt negativereactions forother reasons.A therapygroupmember regardedcriticism asmore usefulthan compliments,and criticismiswhat heoften got-not becausehe askedfor itdirectly,but becauseofhis detachedmanner,as thoughhe weresitting injudgment ofothers.Moreover,his tendencyto qualifyand hedgehis opinionsand feelingsuntilthey hadno meaningoften broughtdown theire ofothers uponhim.He gavetheimpression ofaccepting theirdispleasure stoically,as thoughitstrengthened him.He neveropenly criticizedother members,however.Still anothermember,who claimedthat“criticism isthe stuffthatwe growon gaveothers criticismgalore sotheycouldimprove and,inhiswords,“not appearin anegative lightinthefuture.“This membercame acrossas usinghis ostensibleconcern forthe growthofothers asan excuseto criticizeand attackthem.。