还剩10页未读,继续阅读
本资源只提供10页预览,全部文档请下载后查看!喜欢就下载吧,查找使用更方便
文本内容:
个易懂的英语短笑话带翻译短一点爆笑10He isreally somebody——My unclehas1000men underhim.——He isreally somebody.What doeshe do——A maintenanceman ina cemetery.他真是一个大人物letter towho!聪明的儿子有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字儿子回来后父亲问他“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?’“当然‘你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗”“我当然看见信封上什么也没写‘那你为什么不拿回来呢?”“我还以为你不写地址和收信人是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”外语的重要性A mothermouse wasout fora strollwith her babies whenshespotted acat crouchedbehind abush.Shewatched thecat,and thecat watchedthe mice.Mother mousebarked fiercely,〃Woof,woof,woof!”The catwas soterrifiedthat itran forits life.Mother mouseturned toherbabiesand said,〃Now,do youunderstand thevalueof asecond language”一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽母老鼠向着猫叫道“汪,汪,汪,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧”搞笑的英语小笑话Put your feet inTheschool girlwas sittingwith herfeet strechedfarout intotheaisle,and wasbusily chewinggum,when theteacher espiedher.“Mary!z,called theteacher sharply.〃Yes,Madam”questioned thepupil,“Takethat gumout ofyour mouthand putyourfeetin!把脚放进去一个女学生坐在座位上,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖,脚却伸到课桌间的走道里,被老师发现了“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她“什么事,老师”这女学生问“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来,把脚放进去」—我叔叔下面有1000个人—他真是一个大人物干什么的--墓地守墓人搞笑的英语小笑话I WasntAsleepWhen agroup ofwomen goton thecar,every seatwasalready occupied.The conductornoticed aman whoseemed tobe asleep,and fearinghe mightmiss hisstop,he nudgedhim andsaid:“Wakeup,sir!〃I wasntasleep,〃the mananswered.〃Not asleepBut youhad youreyes closed.I know.I justhate tolook atladies standingup besideme inacrowded car.我没有睡着当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说“先生,醒醒!”“我没有睡着”那个男人回答“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀”“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而己”大胆的猜想A WildGuessOur physicsprofessor wasstruggling todraw theclass intodiscussionof Archimede,s principleof waterdisplacement.He toldus thatArchimedenoticed thatwhen hegot intoapool atthe public3/12来源网络整理,仅作为学习参考bathhouse,the waterrose spillingover theedge.Excited athis discovery,he randown thestreet yelling,“Eureka,eureka!z/The professorasked ifanyoneknew whatthat meant.One studentstood upand answered,/ZT mnaked!Im naked!”大胆的猜想我们的物理教授千方白计地引导学生讨论阿基米德的排水原理他告诉我们,阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高喊:〃Eureka,eureka!教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思一个学生站起来答道“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”搞笑的英语小笑话The poorhusband〃You cantimagine howdifficultit is forme todeal withmywife,〃the mancomplained tohisfriend.She asksme aquestion,thenanswersitherself,and afterthat sheexplained tomefor halfan hourwhy myansweris wrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的”Whos MorePoliteA fat man anda skinnyman werearguing aboutwho wasthe more polite.The skinnyman saidhe was morepolitebecause healways tippedhishat toladies.But thefatmanknew hewasmorecourteous because,whenever hegotup andoffered hisseat,two ladiescould sitdown.谁更有礼貌?一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下搞笑的英语小笑话Let Dogin HotelAmanwrote aletter toa smallhotel heplanned tovisit onhisvacation:〃I wouldvery muchlike tobring mydog with me.He iswell-groomedand verywell behaved.Would yoube willingto permitme tokeep himin myroomwithmeat night”An immediatereply camefrom thehotel owner,who said,〃『ve beenoperatingthis hotelfor manyyears.In allthat time,Ive never hadadogstealtowels,bedclothes,silverware orpictures offthe walls,r veneverhadtoevict adog in the middleof thenight forbeing drunkand disorderly.AndIve neverhad adog runout ona hotelbill.Yes,indeed,your dogi swe1come atmy hote
1.And,if yourdog willvouch foryou,you rewelcometo stayhere,too.〃一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单,餐具,或者墙上的画我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来《律师、宝马和胳膊》一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了」律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿”A lawyeropened thedoor ofhis BMW,when suddenlya carcame alongandhitthedoor,ripping itoff completely.When thepolicearrivedat thescene,thelawyer wascomplaining bitterlyabout thedamage tohis preciousBMW.“Officer,look whatthey^ve doneto myBeeeemer!!!/z,he whined.“You lawyersare somaterialistic,you makeme sick!!!〃retorted theofficer,〃YouresoworriedaboutyourstupidBMW,thatyoudidn,t evennotice thatyourleft armwas rippedoff!!!搞笑的英语小笑话Intelligent sonOneday,the fatherlets eightyear-old sonsenda letter,theson tookthe letter,the fatherthen remembereddidnt writethe address andaddressee^s nameon the envelope.After theson comesback,the fatherasks him:You havethrownthe letterinthemail box”“Certainly”“You havenot seenon theenvelope notto writetheaddressand theaddressee name”〃I certainlysaw nothingwritten ontheenvelope.“Then whyyou didnttake itback”〃I alsothought thatyou donotwrite theaddressandtheaddressee,isfordoes notwant tolet meknow thatyou dosend the。
个人认证
优秀文档
获得点赞 0