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2023年9月25日雅思作文真题A studyshows lotsof children aged between7and11spend toomuch timewatchingtelevision andplaying video games.How doyou thinkthis problemaffectthe children,their familiesand thesociety Whatmeasures canbe taken tosolve it题目大意研究表白,许多7至11岁的孩子花费太多的时间看电视和打电脑游戏你认为这个问题会给孩子、其家庭以及社会带来什么样的影响?可以采用哪些措施来解决这个问题?审题该题目属于社会类话题,report型,即分析问题的影响并提出相应的解决办法本文可以采用四段式的写法,文章布局如下:开头段Introduction:背景+问题+打算主体段Main Body:分两段,其中第二段写effects,第三段写solutions,每段各列出两到三个分论点来支持Body1分析问题也许带来的影响Effects影响一个人影响学习影响二家庭缺少沟通引起健康问题加深代沟影响三社会恶化社会问题导致青少年犯罪Body2提出解决办法Solutions建议一鼓励孩子参与体育活动建议二家长限制看电视和打游戏的时间结尾段Conclusion:结论+重申观点+建议参考范文According to a recentstudy,a vastnumber ofchildren agedbetween7and11spend anexcessive amount of timeeither watching TV or playingvideo games.This problemmay havesome negativeimpacts onthe children,their familiesas wellas thesociety.The followingessay intendsto evaluatethe effectsand suggestsomepossible solutionsto the problem.第一段点评开头段一般写三句话,字数50-60字,其重要作用是交代背景并提出问题,这里可以通过把作文题目的内容作适当改写来完毕此外,开头段的第三句话一般用来表白作者态度,由于该题目属于report型,没有规定考生表态,因此取而代之的是打算,即告诉读者这篇文章将如何进行讨论Spending toomuch timewatching TVor playingvideo gamescan lead tosome severeconsequences.To beginwith,there isa tendencyfor childrentoneglect theirstudies especiallyif theyare addictedto them.Thiswill,unfortunately,result inpoor academicperformance.It willalso cause somehealthproblems suchas obesity,heart diseaseand highblood pressuredue toa lack of exercise.Secondly,the isolationfrom their familiescould beanother problem.Being indulgentin TVand video games,7-11-year-olds areunaware of the importance of communication in theirfamilies,which mayweaken the relationship with their parents and widenthegeneration gap.In addition,it willaggravate thesocial problemsbecausesome TVprograms and videogamescontain somepornographic andviolentcontents,which shouldnot beshown toyoung children.Theappalling result is that an unrestrictedexposure tothese contentswillbe a contributing factor to bullyingand juveniledelinquency.第二段点评主体段写7-10句,采用先总后分的结构,即段首句是主题句,概括整段大意,下面罗列两到三个分论点这样写的好处在于不容易跑题偏题,并且层次分明每个分论点后面带2-3个支持句,论证充足雅思作文的论点不需要标新立异,关键在于可以自圆其说也就是说,只要能给出相应的理由来解释说明分论点即可根据这篇作文题目的规定,该段的分论点正好从个人、家庭和社会三个不同的角度来分析其影响Given thenoticeable effects,some immediatemeasures mustbe appliedinorder tocombat theproblem.One wayis toencourage childrentoparticipate insome healthyleisure activities.For example,if childrenplaysports suchas soccer,basketball andbaseball,they canbuild theirbodyand developteam spirit.Clearly,participation insome sportsactivitiesis farmore rewardingthan sittingin frontof theTV boxorcomputer.Another wayis thatparents shouldassume theresponsibilityto limittheir childrens viewinghours andthe hoursthey spendplayingvideo games.Instead,parents canintroduce somecreative activitiesincludingpainting,playing somemusical instrumentsand joiningsomecharity organizations.All ofthese canhelp childrenidentify theirinterestand enrichtheir lifeexperience.第三段点评该段采用总分总结构,通过举例、假设、对比等方式进行论证由于考虑到该段只有两个分论点,故加入最后一句话作为段内小结To summarize,it isnecessary tocontrol theamountoftime childrenspendon TVand videogames.In order to tackletheproblem,some effectivemeasureslike participationin sportsand artisticevents canbetaken.Only bydoing socan weensure thehealthy environmentwhere childrenagedbetween7and11grow up.第四段点评结尾段写2-3句,总结全文,重申观点注意不要在结尾段出现新的观点,也不要升华或抒情高分点拨:
一、TRTask Response任务完毕情况充足回应作文题目的规定,保证切题扣题,避免跑题偏题这篇作文的讨论对象是7-11岁的孩子,而不是teenager此外,题目规定分析对个人家庭和社会的影响,假如漏掉其中任何一项,将被视为漏题,即没有充足完毕写作任务假如考生把题目理解成分析孩子们为什么会花大量的时间看电视和打游戏的因素,那么这将会被判为偏题,分数将会是5分或以下
二、CCCoherence andCohesion连贯性通过使用一些连接词,例如to beginwith,in addition,also,another,however,to summarize等,来加强文章的连贯性和逻辑性句子和句子之间要适当衔接,段落之间要注意过渡,承上启下,起承转合
三、GRA GrammaticalRange andAccuracy语法结构及准确性展示语法结构的多样性和准确性,尽量避免语法错误和拼写错误可以驾驭不同的句式,句子之间有所变化,重要使用各种从句和非谓语动词文中用到的语法点涉及1动名词作主语,如Spending toomuch timewatchingTVorplayingvideogames canlead tosome severeconsequences.2if引导的条件状语从句,如:To beginwith,there isa tendencyforchildren toneglect theirstudies especiallyif theyare addictedtothem.3插入语,如This will,unfortunately,result inpoor academicperformance.4排比句,如It willalsocausesome healthproblems suchas obesity,heart diseaseand highblood pressureduetoalackofexercise.5分词作状语,如:Being indulgentin TVandvideogames,7-11-year-oldsare unawareoftheimportanceofcommunicationintheirfamilies,whichmay weakentherelationshipwiththeirparentsandwiden thegenerationgap.又如Given thenoticeable effects,some immediatemeasures mustbeapplied inordertocombat theproblem.6非限制性定语从句,如In addition,it willaggravate thesocialproblems becausesome TVprograms andvideogamescontain somepornographicand violentcontents,which shouldnot beshown toyoungchildren.7表语从句,如The appallingresultisthatanunrestrictedexposure tothese contentswill beacontributingfactortobullyingand juveniledelinquency.8倒装句,如Only bydoing socan weensure thehealthy environmentwherechildren agedbetween7and11grow up.9where引导的定语从句,如Only bydoing socan weensure thehealthyenvironment wherechildrenagedbetween7and11grow up.U!LRLexical Resource词汇资源展示词汇量的丰富和用词准确,加强同义词近义词替换,减少语义反复例如学习使人进步,相信能就一定能成功1impact,effect,consequence影响2leadto,result in,cause导致3solve,combat,tackle解决;对付。
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