大学英语四级作文范文讲评

大学英语四级作文范文讲评大学英语四级作文范文讲评作文题目“Women in the ModernWorld”提纲

1.Women areplaying anincreasingly importantpart insociety today.

2.With thechanges in their socialrole,womens positionin thefamilyhas beenimproved as well.

3.In spiteof thesechanges,the liberation of womenhas notbeencompletely realized.例（分段）

1.2Women areplaying anincreasingly importantpart insociety today.Long age,women onlydid somethinginthekitchen orat home.Now manyofthem haveserious jobsto servefor people.What men can doso canwomen.With thechanges intheir socialrole,womens positioninthe familyhas beenimproved aswell.Today inthefamily,the wifeoften lotsherhusband todo somethingat homebat ago,only womendid something.Men arefoned ofdoing somethingat home.completely realized.Sometimes,the matter,the husbandhitting haswelf,often happened.In thefactory thewonmen toas muchas themen,butthey arepaid lessthan themen.Some peoplehave notcompletely realizedtheliberationofwomen.东方教育点评条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有错误，有的甚至影响理解具体问题剖析:⑴缺乏逻辑，东一句西一句,没有围绕中心论述，如第一段就没有展开论述妇女社会角色的转变，说得太笼统而缺乏说服力用汉语思维，句子有明显的汉语痕迹，如2“What mencan doso应改为can women.,Women cando whatmencando衔接不自然，没有用适当的关联词，如3Sometimes,the matter,应改为the husbandhitting haswelf,often happened,The casethathusband hitshis wifeoften happens.拼写错误很多，大部分句子均有错误4例分段

2.5Women areplaying anincreasingly importantpart insociety today.In today,many womenhave awork.They workedaswellas menplaying animportantpart infactories.There aremany womenin governmentalso.They leadother peoplecountry,and makeout plans.There aremanyscientist slso.They eventnew thingsto improveour life.。