读后续写：铲雪少年挣的不止手套，赢的又何止奖杯？讲义--高考英语复习写作专项

读后续写铲雪少年挣的不止手套，赢的又何止奖杯？讲义读后续写阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事Three months later wasthe MiddleSch（oo奖l C杯h）ampionship BaseballGame of the springseason!The winnerswould allget trophies Jonas wasdetermined tobring home atrophy toput onhis shelf,for hehad neverwon onebefore.He insistedon practicingin thestadium withfriends everyday.Day inand dayout,theagloves becameworn-out.Jonas thought,\want a pair of new baseball gloves forbetter1practice!Jonas passedby astore andsaw apair ofdelicate gloves,which costthirty-five dollars.nBut whenJonas askeadlfforthe newbaseball gloves,his motheronly sighed.Your birthdayisntuntil July,she said.you wantthe glovessooner thanthat,you will have tobuy it yourself.Ifyou wantsomething,earn it by yourself.Jonas thoughthard.He wastoo youngto driveto worklike Dad,and he couldnt turnhisbedroom intoan officeto workat homelike Mom.He went to hisfavorite thinkingspot tolookat thebird feederin hisback yard.A（sJ雪on花as）w,as thinkingabout gettinga job,it beganto snow.At firstthere wereonly afewflakes butsoon theground turnedwhite.（铲）aI know!cried Jonas.ril shovelthe sidewalkson snowdays.If Tmfast,I cando a lot ofhousesand makealotof money.So Jonasput onhis warmestsweater andfastened thebutton of his wintercoat.He alsoadded scarf,gloves anda hat.Then hewent into the garageto graba shovel.Jonas startednext door.He rangthe belland askedMr.Travers ifhe would like hisHr nsidewalksshoveled.Yes/said Mr.Travers.But youshould waituntil itstops snowingbeforeyou start,or youwillhaveto doit twice.”Til beback!”said Jonas.He wentaround theblock tosee who wouldliketheir walksshoveledafter thestorm.He hadeight customers by the time he got back to his own house.注意续写词数应为左右

1.

150.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答2When itstopped snowing,Jonas grabbedhis shoveland gotto work.Tired buthappy,Jonas lookedat theforty dollarsearned fromhis work.写前分析情节线初始冲突

1.渴望赢得棒球赛奖杯，但旧手套磨损严重，影响训练效果O Jonas母亲要求他“想要就自己赚”，经济条件限制成为外部阻碍o雪天环境提供契机，决定通过铲雪服务赚钱o Jonas.行动与发展2挨家挨户推销铲雪服务，获得户订单O Jonas8铲雪过程中面临困难、克服困难，最终顺利完成任务O高潮与转折

3.坚持完成所有订单，赚取美元购买新手套Jonas40新手套提升训练表现，助力最终赢得比赛奖杯o Jonas结局与升华？

4.情感线.渴望对奖杯和手套的强烈向往T・挫败被母亲拒绝后的失落一・希望发现铲雪赚钱机会的兴奋一・坚持铲雪中的疲惫与自我激励一・自豪赚取报酬的满足感一・反思（感恩）母亲的教育主题提炼方向自立与成长通过劳动实现目标，收获物质与精神的双重财富

1.亲情与感恩母亲的“严厉之爱”与的回馈形成情节和情感闭环

2.Jonas范文When itstopped snowingJonas grabbedhis shoveland gotto work.What athick whiteblanket!Despite thechilling wind,he workedhard andsweated likea pig.Tossing asidehisscarf andhat,he repeated the motion.He suddenly woke upto thefact that what hehadthought to be a piece of cake actually took far more efforts.Doing MrTravers housealoneexhausted thepoor greenhand.Just asboredom andexhaustion threatenedto overwhelmhim,the sightof thosefive dollarsgiven byMr.Travers rekindledhis enthusiasm.He continuedtowork with his stiff upper lip.All thewalks werebeautifully shoveledwhen thesunset glowwastinting the sky red,celebrating hislab our.Tired buthappy,loaas lookedat theforty dollarsearned fromhis work.What ahugefortune!Humming all along the way tothe store,Jonas gotthe long-desired gloves.Theybecame an extension ofhis hands,which seemedto magicallyempower him.He didwin thedream trophy.Standing backand admiringthe trophyshining onthe shelfwith thecarefully-washed gloves,he wason topof theworld.Pondering onMums words,he felt soblessed withher“tough love.With the remaining five dollars,he thoughtfullychose abeautifulscarf asa nicesurprise inreturn forMums coldness”,without whichhe couldnthave tasted thesweetness ofearning itby yourself.精析Wh（en用it感st叹op短pe句d衔sn接ow首in句g/，on暗as喻g，rab环b境ed烘h托is任sh务ov之el艰an巨d go）ttowork.What athick whiteblanket（让步状语从句，明喻，chilling!Dweisnpdit与e thsewcehaitlelidngliwkeinad,phigew形o成rk鲜ed明h对ard比a，nd进sw一e步ate表d达lik劳ea动p量ig之大之艰巨）（回扣阅读原文伏笔He alsoaddedscarf,gloves anda hat/,.Tsowsesiantgedasliidkeehaispsicgar”f a的nd自hat然结果），（为下文的boredom”埋下伏笔）.herepeated themotion Hesuddenl（yw心o理ke戏up,to主t人he公fa在ct t劳ha动tw中h成ath长e）ha.d thoughttobeapieceofcakeactuallytookfarmoreefforts（上文对任务艰巨已有足够渲染，D此oin处g MerxThraauvsetresdhtohuespeoaolorngereexehnauhsatnedd”t合he理po，or用gr词ee精n准han，d为下一句exhaustion”埋伏笔）.Just asboredom andexhaustion threatenedto overwhelmhim,dollars〃源自严谨的数学计算，使文章逻辑链清晰:阅读前文最后一句:He hadeight（此处“five第二段首句customersbythetimehegotbacktohisownhouse.”+“Tired buthappy,the sightof thosefive dollarsgiven byMr.Travers rekindledhis enthusiasmJonas lookedat theforty dollarsearned fromhis workwith his stiffupper lip是我特别喜欢的一个英式习H语e，co人nt在inu紧e张dt时ow紧or绷k w上it嘴h唇his的st表iffu情p演pe变rl为ip面对困境时的隐忍态度，定稿时与DeepSeek切磋，它建议我换成更大众化的withhis但我表示要坚持自己的表达风格，于是它又这样teeth clenched^点评这个习语“如同给作文喷上英伦香水（与第二段首句无缝衔接,了forty.All thewalks werebeautifully shoveledwhen the的由来同时，用无灵主语、环境烘托渲染氛围，变成了啦啦队.dollars”sunsetsunset glowwas tintingtheskyred,celebrating hislabour（用感Tir叹ed短b句ut衔ha接pp首y,句Jo，na表sl达oo主ke人d公at的the兴f奋ort和y成do就lla感rs）ea！rned fromhis work.What ahuge fortuneHummingallalongthewaytothestore（用动词代替表达“高兴”的形容词，为读者营造动感画面）HummingJonas gotthe（回扣阅读前文伏笔I wantapairofnewbaseballglovesfor betterlong-desired gloves）practice!.They becameanextensionofhishands,which seemedto magicallyempower him.（使用无灵主语，在上继续作文章，铺垫下一句的）gloves”win.He didwin thedreamtrophy（用强调谓语动词此处越是超短句越是掷地有声细品文中长短句错落有致给读“did”win,者带来的阅读冲击）.Standing backand admiringthe trophyshining onthe shelfwith the（以物代情，用物品状态暗示主人公经历）,carefully-washed gloveshe wason topof theworld（用习语代替表达高兴的形容词,是“美式喜悦，第一段on topoftheworld withhisstiff是英式坚毅，夸我这两处遣词是达到母语水平的表现这个夸奖令我窃upper lipDeepSeek喜足足秒）（回扣前文伏笔），30Pondering onMum^words hefeltsoblessed withher tough（心理戏主人公继续成长）.love Withtheremainingfivedollars,he thoughtfullychose abeautiful（用行动表达感恩，“买细节终于把scarf”scarf asa nicesurprise inreturn forMums coldness”主人公挣的钱花完了的同时巧妙点题，你喜欢吗？）,without whichhecouldn^havetastedthe（用含虚拟语气的非限制性定语从句深化主题，使用前文sweetness ofearning itby yourself*母亲的原话清晰回扣伏笔，形成故事情节和情感闭环）earning itby yourself”.阅卷感想本故事情节脉络和两个段首句指向特别清晰，大部分考生可以轻松拿捏情节走向和主题方向少部分考生没抓住这个文眼，写成了诸如“有志者事竟成”之类的主题，实属遗憾特别感慨的“一ea点rn it相by当yo多ur考se生lf”在续文里未提及这个角色，主人公好像就是自己成长起来的反向思维一下，假如不存在这个角色“M，um这个故事会发生吗？除了主人公难道不是号主角吗？总M是u反m复”强调你的文字就是J你on价as值,“观Mu、m人”生观、世2界观的投射，除Ke了lly写作技巧的问题，Yo你u a的re感w恩ha心ty是ou否w缺ri失te.了一丢丢？评讲课上，当如是表达（尽管并非有心任何孩子），余光瞥见了好几双似笑非笑的尴尬眼神反思Ke完lly这篇作文，咱们回看这一路j经ud历ge过的“个人成长类”故事，还发现一个规律主人公往往在迷茫之际得到某人的教育，然后亲身经历验证了这个道理，即先经历“人教人，再经历“事教人”，主人公最后的蜕变可以比“人教人”阶段更深刻，比如本文践行之后不仅如愿获得更收获了精神成长，理解了母亲J的on用as心良苦e，a升rni起tb浓y浓yo的ur感se恩lf之情这类耳里听glo来v终es觉浅tro，ph绝y,知此事要躬行”的故事，可再回味以前写过的。